Vent?

I have to get 2 conversations off my chest... 

I have 2 cousins.  Both boys.  One is about 1.5 years older than me.  The other is about 8.5 years older than me.  

My oldest cousin knew the infertility issues we had been going through because it came up when Johnny and I were visiting a few summers ago.  They had also been trying and were just on the step of taking Clomid with TI.  (Worked 2nd time, by the way...)  So, they were pregnant as of August 2008.  In October 2008 Johnny and I finally got pregnant (yay!) and of course we let them know.  A week later, we miscarried and it hit me hard.  Really hard.  My cousin later sent me a message telling me that the loss would be bittersweet and some day we would actually look back and smile when thinking about it.  

What?  Why would I ever look back and smile?  It was just one more reminder that it was so difficult for us to get pregnant.

Hmm... then I was talking to my other cousin online probably 2 or 3 weeks after Connor passed away.  (And he didn't go to the funeral, send a card, call, etc. etc.)  He asked how I was doing.  My reply was the standard "It sucks, but we're getting through."  Then the conversation passed to him.  I asked how he and his wife were doing.  He replied that they were good, but K (his wife) seemed to be having a UTI that hadn't gone away for 2 years and they had been to lots of doctors and "I think you can see why that wouldn't be good for a young, newlywed couple".  I said something like "That sucks."  And he launches into "Even though you lost Connor, it could have been worse.  Look at us, it doesn't seem like we will be able to have kids at this rate and that's just something that we will have to accept."    To which I wanted to bash him on the head for trying to tell me it could be worse and I also wanted to enlighten him on the wonder of IVF... I mean, duh, you don't even have to have sex to get pregnant!